Clothes Make the Men
by texaswookie
Summary: Had Xander known about the spell, he might not have bought most of his costume from a resale shop. Has anyone ever found a whole outfit from the same source there?


Don't own BTVS, Rambo, Stargate, NCIS, Supernatural or BTVS characters mentioned. Getting ready to take a sabbatical from writing and am clearing all of my files out. 

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><p>Xander sighed as he leaned back against the wall and wondered if he should finally give into the temptation that he had and go find Ethan and kill him. If not that then at the very least he should shoot the chaos mage. It sure would make his life a hell of a lot easier at least that was what a part of his brain was telling him. He was pretty sure that he could make it look like an accident as well. He wondered how it had gotten to be like this. Well he actually knew the answer to that one, but it didn't make it any easier for him to accept. Halloween, the one time a year girl wore even skankier outfits than usual and he could act like a fool and not get into trouble for it. It was also supposed to be a vampire and demon free night for all of them according to Giles. None of that had happened that way though, all because Ethan had thought it would have been fun to turn everyone into their costumes. He had gone with something harmless and generic for the most part, but had found himself swept up in the disaster that Ethan Rayne had caused him. Xander had taken the single plastic gun home and then combined it with the resale clothes shop military clothes that he had painstakingly piece together a little bit at a time. It had taken nearly a year and hitting more than one store to find all of the pieces to the outfit he wore that actually fit him. He had done it though, and turned the combined clothes into a kind of uniform. Unfortunately for him combined with the magic gun he had a few problems and it was all Ethan Rayne's freaking fault. I mean for the others it was when they had one extra personality bouncing around in their heads he had the bad luck to have four new personalities bouncing in his head though.<p>

His eyes glanced down at the table, and he grimaced a bit at what he saw before him. There was his usual comic book sitting there but around him there was also a very large knife as in as long as his forearm long, a cup of very strong coffee that a few days ago would have made him gag, a gun with a variety of rounds loaded in it, and finally there was some blue Jell-O. All of them were little quirks that the various soldiers in his head had and had passed down onto him. Giles and Willow had both confirmed that he appeared to be suffering some of the more obvious symptoms of multiple personality syndrome thanks to the several imprints that were stuck in his head. Having four highly trained and highly decorated soldiers in his head was not good though. It also had changed some of his outlooks on certain things.

The shirt had come from a Jarhead Marine Gunny Sergeant, Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The man had been a sniper that had served several tours of duty in various fights particularly in Desert Storm. His jacket had once belonged to John Winchester another retired Jarhead Marine. The pants had come from Special Forces member of the Green Beret's John Rambo a Vietnam Veteran, and finally the boots had been a pair that had belonged to an Zoomie Air Force Colonel named Jack O'Neill.

Combined, he had enough knowledge on military things that he could probably give Batman and the Punisher a run for their money. Heck, he could probably even hold his own against Buffy for a few seconds now. He had been careful as he slowly went back and found the public files on each and every one of the men that he needed. Gibbs was a Special Agent in the N.C.I.S, John Winchester was dead under suspicious circumstances, Colonel O'Neill was stationed up in Cheyenne Mountain Colorado, and Rambo was MIA though his last sighting having been somewhere in Tibet. During his whole Halloween crisis the soldiers had relied on their training until they could find someone that actually knew what the sitrep was. His Gibbs side had also been a sucker for Willow's hair and Jack had a thing for assertive women which Willow had been all about that night.

Now that everything was supposedly over he had to live with the fact that he had the training, knowledge, memories and personalities of some of the best soldiers the USA had trained stuck in his head. Then there were the things that each of the men actually knew. Gibbs and O'Neill were privileged to lots of sensitive confidential information from a variety of sources. He knew several government secrets that federal agencies really didn't want him knowing, and he knew all about the space snakes. It wasn't as if the planet didn't have enough problems with demons, vampires, witches, and whatever else came around to eat them now they had aliens as well. He was personally still waiting for the Creature from the Black Lagoon and Godzilla to appear somehow. If he was lucky they would eat Snyder and stomp on Dead Boy for him. Winchester had been something of a living legend when it came to hunting demons, and had been one of the most skilled out there. Hell he had spent hours tracking down Dean and Sam to see what they were doing going so far as to buy those stupid teen books about them. It seemed that those two boy had been awfully busy little hunters. John Rambo was possibly the one with the least amount of current or sensitive knowledge, he had made up for that though by being the one with the most experience in killing someone.

If he ever got captured and questioned he vaguely wondered just which name, rank, and serial number it was that he would use.

Still it wasn't all bad getting to kick all of those vampires around the place had been lots of fun. Add in with his brain having somewhat organized the personalities within him and there was a chance that he might just get something good out of all this. With a bit of work he could probably even do something with what he had managed to get. Although the number of times his arm seemed to move on its own and smack him in the back of the head was really starting to get annoying though. The various rules of living were a nice addition though.


End file.
